When taxi chat goes wrong!

Personally I love the term ‘battle of the sexes’ to me it conjures up images akin to ‘Clash of the Titans’ or ‘Spartacus’ etc…it just seems a little dramatic because it ain’t no battle, just more of a little scuffle…the scuffle of the sexes? A little rough-housing of the sexes? I mean it’s so typical of society to over do it with terminology…I think the battle only started after the phrase was coined…the power of suggestion perhaps?

But all that aside, I do enjoy the observing the real differences between the sexes, and they are just differences…no one need raise a weapon and declare war once differences have been noted. I know this is probably a massive generalisation and I do not meant to offend any of my 6 blog followers ha-ha…in fact I know you all so you can just call me if you have a problem with it.

Take for example the taxi ride and the way it differs between the sexes…

Men: Will hop into a taxi and after telling the driver where he would like to go, settles into a conversation with the taxi driver about oh lets see…anything! And before you know Sir Chat-a-lot appears which is funny considering you can barely get these guys to say more then ‘uh-uh’ at home.



Women: Will hop onto taxi, tell driver where they’d like to go and then she settles in to either make a call, send a text, apply lipstick, go through handbag, adjust tights, fix hair…we don’t just start talking to the driver. The only time you can’t shut us up is when we are in the taxi with friends etc, then Lady Chat-a-lot emerges.

Of course there are occasional exceptions to this rule (there has to be as I could be deemed as being sexists and then consequently sued for defamation of the sexes) but generally I gotta say, this is how it goes, and before you ask, I have spoken to more than one bloke about this and asked why and they all say the same thing “well wouldn’t you want someone to talk to when you’ve been driving around by yourself all day?” Hmmmm interesting comment considering my above point...funny how they don’t quite offer the same consideration to their partners who may have spoken to noone all day and would like a chat?

Now this leads me nicely into a friends experience of what can happen when taxi chat goes wrong? So she and her fella jump into a taxi to take them to a restaurant she’s been dying to try for ages. The ‘fella’ does what he always does, strikes up a conversation with the taxi driver, after many minutes of bonding chat, the driver pipes up and says that he’s always wanted to go to that restaurant too… …you see where this is going can’t you?
The problem now is that the taxi driver and the ‘fella’ have a rapport! oh yes indeed they have really bonded, at which point the ‘fella’ leans over and whispers into her ear “…it would be rude not to invite him to dinner too, don’t you think?” before she can say anything the invitation is out there, the driver ‘graciously’ accepts the invitation and then she finds the words that got stuck in her throat just seconds earlier…”you w***er! This is why I tell you not to talk to the taxi drivers”!!

And what a jolly evening they had (!?)…
I have always meant to ask them  if they got a ‘lift’ home after dinner or did he still put the meter on? ...

...."you talkin' to me????????"   ( This is definately not the type of taxi driver you want to invite to dinner)

Good things to get into ...again

Greetings my little blogtastic buddies!

The Perfect Cup for Coffee!

To say that the mug from which you drink your coffee (or alternative hot beverage of choice) is not important, is like saying that oxygen is overrated....it is important. Let me tell you the saddest tale of them all, the tale of my quest for the perfect cup for coffee ….

So over the course of my time spent in NYC, I had asked a couple of people about the cup that I was seeking…they just looked at me funny (was it my stupid accent putting people off again??..."please sir/ ma'am, don't ask me to say "that's not a knoife...this is a knooife…anymore”)
So, anyhoo, it was my last day in NY, I had until 11pm that night until I jumped on that midnight bus up to Montreal; it was sunny and 31 degrees with 100% humidity so I decided to go for a walk in Central Park..

I nipped into the MOMA (Museum of Modern Art) on route...air conditioning-yes!! And thought I might squeeze in a bit of culture but alas the queue was mahoooosive, so I browsed the shop instead and 'badda bing badda bam'…there’s the mug! “So cool” I thought, “It really is the best NYC souvenir I’ve seen and just look at that shape...the size...the gentle curve of the lip… I’m definitely going to get one”
"Hmmm, ceramic eh" I thought, “I’d rather not carry it around the park with me; I shall collect it on my way back".
I checked the store closing time, "9pm, ripper! Loads of time…" So I walked out of the store and said to the girl behind the counter, in my best Arnie Schwarzenegger voice… "I’ll be back” (actually that part didn’t really happen)...

So after a lovely afternoon in the park, the heat starts to subside I start to walk around the city, here, there, everywhere, it’s awesome, I have to agree with those T-shirts...I love NY! It’s about 7pm by this time, so I reckon I’ll start to head back to the MOMA shop….I rock up to the door and it is CLOSED!!! What! It was meant to be open till 9pm…I’m confused, upset, hot and sweaty, how can this be? Then I checked the opening times… Noooooooo!! I’d read the opening times for wrong bloody day!!!! Friday till 9pm …Mon-Thu till 6.30pm….and it was Tuesday...and I was leaving the city in 2 ½ hours. To say I was peeved is putting it politely. I really, really wanted one, my happy dreams of drinking coffee from it dashed to the ground, like cheap porcelain...
Why can life be so unkind...?

Gimme Shelter ( and gimme a bus!!! )

Some days I just think I'm some sort of sucker for punishment, and if I'm not then explain this...
I'm waiting for a bus under a bus shelter... shelter being a term I use loosely because a shelter seems to imply some sort of protection from the elements... which this 'shelter' was certainly not providing. Anyway, I digress, so I'm waiting for a bus..I'm feeling decidedly unwell as the early signs of a sore throat start to kick in, it edges closer and closer to 21.30, which means I've been standing here like a stunned mullet for almost 30 minutes now.
The rain gets heavier, my throat gets sorer and I feel sicker and sicker with each passing minute; but here is the thing, I keep telling myself ( like I did 15 minutes ago) just wait... it will be here any minute, another minute will be here any minute ...any minute now that old 228 is going to round the corner...


Meanwhile, across the road I can see the bus stop for the other bus I could possibly get home. I watch helplessly as three ( yes Three) potential 'lifts' outta here sail on by! Why oh why, and you know that if I leave my post now and defect to the other stop then you just know that the bus I've been waiting for will show and the other bus at the other stop will suddenly cease!!
So I stay put, after all I've wasted, I mean, invested 40 minutes of my life in just waiting for the bus, well hey lets make it worth my while and call it an hour, nice round figure...one hour, in the rain, cold and sick hooray!!!


What situations like this also tend to do, and I don't want to but I start to seethe with hate for this city as the most annoying people in my vacinity are suddenly highlighted and their annoying actions are amplified by 100%, it brings out the worst in me when I observe the women who finishes her M&S sandwich and just throws the cardboard packaging on the ground, just like that, blatantly littering in front of me and others. And then there is the man who sits there sniffing and spitting with gay abandon , "oh how lovely you are sir...is that seat next to you free? may sit beside you and listen as you gurgle up in prep for another big ol spit? and madame, next time you throw away your litter make it worth your while don't just toss it at your feet toss it at the feet of the man spitting see if you can throw as far as he can spit"


So at the end of it all, the 228 never shows, I jump on another bus which takes me to another bus stop where I have to wait for another bus...all in all it takes close to 1 hour and 20 minutes to get home and this fact is only made worse by the fact that had I walked it would have taken 35 minutes....


Aaaaaarrgghh!